Dialogue That Does Two Things at Once

Dialogue in a story is rarely how people actually talk. Real speech is full of false starts, courtesies and repetition; written dialogue is speech that has been edited until every line has a job. The most reliable test of a line is whether it does two things at once: advances what is happening and reveals who is speaking. Use it for conflict, not information. Two people agreeing in full sentences make a dull scene. Put them in disagreement about something small - the route, the bill, whether the window should be open - and let the real argument happen underneath it. Let characters misunderstand each other. Some of the finest dialogue is two monologues crossing. Each person answers a question the other did not ask. Cut the courtesies and the names. 'Hello, how are you?' can be one nod in narration. And people almost never use each other's names in an argument; a name used once, at the wrong moment, lands hard. Read it aloud. If two consecutive lines could be spoken by either character, you have not differentiated them yet. Rhythm, vocabulary and what a person volunteers are usually enough: one character gives details, one gives orders, one stops mid-sentence. Let silence be a line. A refusal to answer, or an answer to a different question, is dialogue too. Try this Write a conversation of twenty lines or fewer in which both characters want something from the other and neither says it. No stage directions, no 'he said angrily'. Then remove the first three lines and see whether the scene has improved.